The mess I am

I found this picture amongst other old drawings I did when I was younger. This one was done in my art class when I was 12 or less I think. We had to draw something out of the outline of our own profile. The result very much reflects how I've felt most of my life...
I remember that day. I was very self conscious as a young teenager and having to do something out of my own body image was a terrible task. I was very much an applied and aesthetically-orientated artist at the time, doing mostly delicate, representative or idealised graphical work. What I did during the session was quite unlike my usual work. The result of this lesson didn't bring anything up to my Conscious at the time. It was a disappointing session as far as I was concerned.
It's only 20 years later that this suddenly strikes me with a very poignant and moving strength. This drawing is such an honest representation of what I was soon going to experience. So maybe it had started already?
I feel so sad for this little girl, whose mind melts in a gory mess, so empty and hollow inside. An omen of what was to come. A snapshot of lucidity.